Melanie Aprahamian
“My childhood was a bit unconventional. Picture this: you are 14 – almost 15 years – old. You know your mother is sick, but nobody told you she’s going to die. And then she does. Suddenly I found myself alone. My brothers who were twins were a year older than me, and my father was a grieving widower. I just remember the ride home from the hospital thinking to myself, “How the hell am I doing this? I can’t cook or clean.” It was a complete lack of preparation on everybody’s part. But as the story says, you roll with the punches and you make do.”
"I found myself stepping into that expected role as the only woman in my household. And honestly, it was exhausting. I followed some recipes online to cook dinner for the family, and I even recall my brothers telling me that my recipes tasted “like feet” on multiple occasions. I guess it gave me thick skin. Years later, well into adulthood, I actually came to learn that my brother loved cooking. But for reasons probably due to gender stereotypes, cooking responsibilities got pushed on me. Things like laundry presented a need for some trial and error, too. Of course, I turned a lot of things pink that weren’t supposed to be pink; but in the end, I lived and learned. Those were the early days.”
“Senior year of high school, so just a few years after my mother died, I recall the rest of the graduating class having plans to go to college and big plans for the future. And I kept thinking, “I have no money.” I loved my father and my brothers to death, but we all had to fend for ourselves. I had no female role models, either. Nobody was encouraging me to spread my wings and break out of the role I’d been occupying since my mother died. My grandmother passed two months before my mother, and my aunt (whom I had limited contact with lived) in Florida. I was my own female role model. I worked a couple of jobs after high school: CVS, a hair salon, and a couple nights a week I went to community college. I remember talking to a pharmacist at my cashier job saying that I needed to find a career that would allow me to take care of myself and pay my bills. I loved the field of pharmacy, but the closest school was in Columbus, Ohio, 2 hours from me, and I didn’t have the means of commuting there and back. Nursing was the way to go. It was a two-year nursing associates degree that I obtained, and then finally taking assorted classes here and there, I got a Bachelor of Science degree in nursing 5 years later. So sure, it took a while longer than most, but my circumstances made me that much more proud of myself. After college, I worked at the hospital that I graduated from, and from that point forward I supported myself.”
“In October of 1993 I went on a cruise with one of my closest girl friends from high school. I’d just began a new job, moved out of my childhood home, and bought my very first car. The trip was definitely celebratory. I felt this sense of independence particularly due to my financial freedom. And – ironically enough – I ended up meeting my husband on that cruise. He lived in New York, and I was from Ohio. We dated long distance, and three years later, we got married; I prepared to move 500 miles away to New York, leaving the comfort of Ohio where I’d spent my entire life. I took a huge leap of faith. And to answer your question, that is when I felt the most empowered. Knowing that I was comfortable on my own – a working woman who had put herself though school – but I also had found someone who recognized and respected that.”
“I worked full time as a nurse in New York, and while I did so, I began to take classes in pursuit of a master’s degree. During that program, in 2000, my first daughter was born. Juggling work, school, and a newborn baby was difficult, but I refused to ever stop working because I had worked tirelessly to put myself through school and establish myself as an adult. So, I worked as a nurse on the weekends and stayed home with my daughters during the week. Actually, I did this until my second daughter entered kindergarten in 2007, at which point I went back part time. Part of the reason why I decided I wanted to stay home during the week was because I felt it was important for my daughters to have a mother. I wanted them to have everything that I did not. I also think that it was important for them to see that women can do both. My husband worked a lot, so I took care of things around the house when he wasn’t around; but I also went to work on the weekends and during that time my husband cooked and cleaned and all that good stuff. So, in a way, my life did a complete 180. But I think that’s in part due to society. When my mother was alive, it was almost unheard of for women to do both; but so many of the women I work with today are great nurses and even better mothers. Even my girl friends from high school – they take every opportunity to spend time with their kids while still excelling at work. As I prepare to send my second daughter to college next year, I want to work even more and put my degree to use! I really want to get into teaching because I am a firm believer that nurses should teach other nurses. I want to be influential in as many lives as possible.”
